I decided that if I am going to have "posts of shame" I might as well group them together and get it all out there at once. Now that Zoe has been open for a full year, I've been reflecting on the impacts on my life. This next series of posts is going to cover what I miss, what I love, and what I've learned in the past year.
But first to what I've missed. When I was working with the counselor, we often discussed the potential trade-offs that we all encounter in life. We may have X, Y, and Z but we've given up A, B, and C. So I'm not one of those people who is here to tell you that you can have it all.
I love what I do now. But there are also things that I miss. Some of them you've seen me discuss over the past year and some may be new. They are not in a particular order - just as they come to me as I write.
1) I miss my weekends. Friday evening used to be my favorite time of the week. Now, it is simply another evening to prepare for the next work day. I am sometimes envious of all of the things that my husband, my friends and family are doing on Saturdays and Sundays. I take one day off a week (Mondays) and it is usually spent trying to catch up on all of the personal things I can't get done during the week.
2) I miss my family. It was not unusual for me to be on an airplane on a regular basis, visiting my mom and brother and his wife and children. They are all so precious to me. My mom is able to come up to visit and help in the store at times, which is a real blessing. Due to my brother's job, we are often in a situation where FaceTime chats in the morning before I open the store are the closest things we get to a visit. I was so delighted to spend New Years with them in Tampa - truly one of the best Christmas gifts I've ever been given.
3) I miss the money. I was very fortunate to be well compensated in my line of work. I tried to manage money thoughtfully and intelligently but I also didn't worry about a nice restaurant meal, a shopping trip, or a vacation to wherever I wanted to go. Now, I think about it all the time. I don't take a salary. It's been hard sometimes not to have/do what I want.
4) I miss the collaboration. In my previous line of work, I worked with others to bring projects to successful completion. We planned, we strategized, we executed, and we celebrated. I not only got to see work reach a finite end but I got to see people grow and develop throughout the process. And I got to see the end result create a better environment for my customer or my company. It could be both highly frustrating and highly rewarding at the same time.
5) I miss having people to talk to who are dealing with similar things. I definitely operate in a different world today. Before, I could discuss challenges and solutions with my peers, my team members, and my employees. It can be lonely sometimes to not have people to talk to about decisions and outcomes.
6) I miss the beauty of a well-designed, well-built, and well-maintained office building. When I went downtown recently for Intern Anna's final project, I parked in the garage of a new building. As I rode the elevator up to the ground level, I sighed at the gorgeousness of the marble and modern lighting. (Disclaimer - I spent most of my IT career working for Real Estate Investment Trusts so I have a particular fondness for office buildings)
Lest you worry that I'm feeling sorry for myself, the next blog entry will deal with the things I love!